Happiness is Real When it Shared

Senin, 07 November 2011

It's Time for a "Time Makeover": 5 Tips for Mastering Your Calendar

Take control of your busy schedule with a few easy ideas!

Time flies when you're having fun, but what if you're not having fun and your time still seems to fly away? Do you ever feel like your schedule runs you, rather than the other way around? Maybe you're feeling like you can't get everything done, or that you don't really know where your time goes. Sound familiar? If so, a "time makeover" might be just what you need! Here are some simple strategies to help get your calendar under control:

Take stock. To truly maximize your use of time, it's helpful to first find out how you're currently spending your day. In a journal or on a notepad, write down what you're doing from hour to hour for a few days. Note what your current daily schedule is (if you have one), what's working, and what isn't. Also notice what your energy rhythms are—are you more "up" in the morning, or are you more of a night owl?

Check it out. After keeping a log for a few days, start looking for patterns. Are you spending most of your time on the things that you want or need to do, or are you wasting lots of time procrastinating or surfing the web? Where is time being used well, and where do you see room for improvement? Also see whether the things that are most important to you are synchronized with when you're the most "up."

Build blocks. Group your different daily tasks into categories, and then make the categories into "time blocks." Common categories are work time (time you spend at your job or business), admin tasks (paying bills, processing paper, etc.), pleasure time (breaks and other downtime), and kid-related time (carpooling, getting the kids ready for school).

Fill it in. Look at a blank calendar and start setting up your revised schedule. Put your time blocks onto your calendar based on how much time the tasks within each category take up. As things come up during your day or your week, you'll now have time literally "blocked out" for the tasks to fit into. Try to group related tasks together—for instance, if you noted in your logs that you were paying bills online on Tuesday and writing checks on Friday, try to group those together on your calendar. Every process that you can group or streamline will make a difference in how efficient you can be.

Keep at it. After you've filled in your time blocks with tasks, you'll be left with a revamped schedule. Try implementing your new schedule slowly—that way you can make adjustments and tweaks. If something works well—great! If not, see if you can shift a task to another time block or shift the blocks around. Keep with it until you find the mix that works for you.

You can get control over your schedule! With a little advance planning and a few of my tips, you'll soon be master of your day once more.

How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend Nicely

It is always a sad fact in life that there is a danger that a relationship will end in a break up. No matter how much we would love to believe those fairy tales or Disney movies, breaking up when you are no longer compatible is inevitable. Of course, that is not to say that you do not try as hard as you can to salvage the relationship. However, it could be that breaking up is your only option. Whatever the reasons, breaking up is a terrible thing - no matter if you are the person who is dumped or the person who is doing the breaking up.

If it has to be done, though, try to do it as nicely as possible. After all, there are many ways in which you can actually soften the blow. Your boyfriend's ego will already be taking a beating because you are breaking up with him. There is no point tormenting him or making him feel even more terrible than he is already feeling.

The first step to break up with your boyfriend nicely lies with you yourself. You need to be absolutely 100% clear that this is the path that you want to take. There is no point telling yourself that you want to break up and then caving in afterwards. If you are really sure about breaking up with your boyfriend then do it with no thought of backing out at the very last minute. This will only prolong the pain.

If your boyfriend loves you, he will probably ask for reconciliation or start begging for a second chance. Yes, we know this is a difficult situation and you feel like you are going to cave in any minute now. To stop yourself from doing something like that, remind yourself of the reasons for the break up. If you are completely sure this is the best step for the both of you, there is no point going back on your word. This is absolutely the best way to break up with your boyfriend - nice and clean.

Additionally, many girls make the mistake of telling their boyfriends: let us remain friends after this. Do not ever do this because it gives them the hope that you might want to get back together with them. Yes, it might be torturous for him not to be able to see you anymore but in the long run, this is the best possible way to break up with him. You might want to be there for him during this difficult period but remember that you are the cause of his sadness. Let him seek out other friends who will console and help him forget you.

Yes, breaking up is never easy. It is even more difficult to do it nicely so that there is minimal damage or hurt on both sides. However, if you are absolutely sure that it is bound to happen anyway, you should initiate the break up and just get on with it. Remember that there is no good in dragging out something that is not going to last the whole mile anyway. This is the best way for the both of you. If you have made up your mind that this is the only and best course of action, take a deep breath and just go for it.

Minggu, 06 November 2011

Intimacy In Darkness

In terms of intimacy, what force compels (attracts) you to be close to those you are close to? Out of all the types of relationships we can find ourselves in, have you ever wondered just what makes a close relationship so special and touching inside? Could the way we relate to others, in ways mirror a part of ourselves that denies who we really are?

Intimacy: To better establish the idea of intimacy, here are a few points to consider: Do you aspire to share the time not filled with obligation (your free time) with people you have to hide parts of yourself around? How about going out of your way with the intention of "fitting in" with those who have a set of core values you feel to be much different than your own? What special ingredient causes you to separate an acquaintance mentally, from someone you share the special intimacy that goes along with who you are with?

Personally, one of the attributes that attracts me to someone is the feeling that I can be myself and share the unfiltered version of what's on my mind and in my heart without feeling as though I have to somehow hold back. Situations where I feel being my natural self isn't the right thing to do for a variety of reasons don't appeal to me so much, despite life doling out it's fair share of those unpredictable situations on it's own terms.

There is intimacy in darkness… There's something special in feeling comfortable and safe enough with those close to you that you can share the true essence of who you are, how you think and what you feel. To me those qualities (and more) are some of the most important ingredients when it comes to intimacy. Whether it be with a co-worker, friend or lover, I personally feel the greatest amount of intimacy and closeness when I can be myself, completely.

That being said… what is it to "share completely?" What kind of intimacy does truly being yourself entail? While the idea of deep intimacy may bring fourth all kinds of thoughts, desires and dreams, there's something that about deep intimacy easily overlooked:

Darkness. I don't think it's so hard to agree, we all have our own "individual" ideas of the world. To some extent, our ideas of how the world works make up the reality we live. It can be difficult when someone close to you doesn't "see it your way." Even with all the spirituality, personal development and various other practices many of us choose to bring into our lives with the intention of finding greater balance — there is still part of just about every one of us that hurts. I won't even begin to get into all the reasons we can hurt, mentally, physically and emotionally - but pain (suffering) seems to be one of the many polarities that are part of this plane of existence.

Wouldn't it make sense then, that there's a certain intimacy in sharing your darkness (pain) and imperfections with those closest to you? I know this can be a tough thought, but couldn't you understand how a lover's sometimes harsh words are no less intimate than a moonlight kiss under a starlit sky? In this condition, living life, we're all here doing what we can. Think what you may, good, bad, lazy, motivated or whatever other polarity that comes to mind - that doesn't change the fact we're all here handling life.

Personally, I don't know how another person arrives at the point where they are now. I do know, however, in relationships there does seem to be a "positive" thinking way of thinking that creates an undercurrent that we are expected to be a certain way relating to others. Even though the idea that our relations should be positive and uplifting to experience the most happiness with the least amount of suffering might be in my head, it's still an idea.

Those I share the most intimacy with are often comfortable (on some levels) enough at a certain point in the relationship to allow the darker aspects of their personality shine through along with everything else. I know this to be the case personally as well. I think it's part of who we are. I just wonder what kind of world we would live in if we were to be more accepting of ourselves and the intimacy we all share with each other when suffering.

Would we be so quick to judge or condemn? Would we be in a hurry to make another wrong and end a relationship? Maybe. Then again, maybe we would be able to accept ourselves at even a greater level as a result of understanding the nature of suffering and the intimacy of sharing. We might forgive one another, love one another and love ourselves even more, if we could come to the understanding of exactly how much intimacy, we are, indeed, sharing in darkness.